Love the One You’re With…

Last weekend, my family and I ate at a Mexican restaurant in our small town. After being seated and placing our order, I immediately took out my phone to show my husband and kids an item I was interested in purchasing on EBay. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get reception. I became pretty frustrated, as I was eager to get their opinion and ultimately make the purchase. At that point, my eyeballs searched to inquire of some sort of Wi-Fi code or alternative, when I saw the sign that read “NO WIFI. Pretend it’s 1995 and talk to each other!”

WOW!!! REALLY???? At first, I admit, I was slightly annoyed by their attempt to “be the boss of me!!!” (Arms crossed, foot tapping… lol) BUUUUUTTTTT, I became immediately convicted at just how quickly I wanted to engage in online activity. It was easy to pridefully excuse my behavior, I mean, after all, I WAS communicating and sharing my search with all of them, RIGHT??? NOPE! Not right!

We are all guilty of this. We just need to finish this one little thing, look up a quick “this” or respond to a fast “that”. “I am working all day long, a little scroll on Facebook, or Instagram shouldn’t be a big deal…” We start off saying that, but that little “this” turns into searching while at the red light, while waiting in line at the grocery store, while in traffic, while lying in bed with our spouse, while sitting at our kids’ practices, and then ultimately, while at home during family time. I’ve even seen people “scrolling” during church!!!! YIKES!!!! 😨😨😨

Perhaps we need to implement the message from the restaurant sign more often. Our need to grab the phones, tablets and other devices is getting out of control. It is spilling onto our kids and even they can’t seem to temper their desire to be online.

At the end of the day, our desire to “be connected” can’t be to some WIFI system, but to the ones we love, the ones we are with during that time. This is a fairly new problem, so it calls for new rules. I’ve come up with a couple easy ways to combat the need to be online excessively:

  • Love the one you’re with: Whoever you are with during that time, give them your undivided attention. If you are lying in bed with your spouse, picking up your kid from school, riding in the car, watching a movie, cooking dinner, out at a restaurant… PUT THE PHONE AWAY!!!! Look at your people. Converse with them. Let them know you are truly interested in their conversation and the happenings of their life.
  • Have a device container: A good way to put this into practice at home is to have a device container. A friend of mine mentioned this idea and I thought it was FABULOUS! Perhaps everyone can put their device in a container/bowl upon entering the house and no one can get on their device until designated “device time.” During that time, you can all sit together and delve into the world-wide mess, I mean, web 😘 for 30 minutes (or whatever time works best for you).
  • TURN IT OFF: At bedtime, all devices are turned off or silenced. I wonder how many hours of sleep people miss out on during that late-night shopping venture, or that Facebook scroll, etc.… How many intimate encounters are spouses missing out on because one or both parties are more engaged online?

There is an infinite amount of data to search, a ton of seemingly important activity happening, news, shopping and sooooo much more that seem to call our name each day, all day. What a blessing it is to be able to access these things at the touch of a button. However, it cannot be at the expense of the precious moments we sacrifice with our loved ones. Though it is important to stay connected to all the people and affairs of the day, it’s most important to let the ones we are with know they are our top priority. At the end of the day, they are what matter most! Pretend it’s 1995… 😘😘😘

17 thoughts on “Love the One You’re With…

    • Lol!!! Funny how that happens!!! That opens up an entirely new set of things to consider and address. My children are both teenagers now, so we constantly create ways to help them temper their screen time as well. Interesting! 😊 thank you so much for the exchange! 😊😊😊

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  1. Oh yes a million times yes. I’ve stopped accessing Facebook on my phone and I try to stay mindful of the times I’m on it in front of my kids. It’s crazy how dependent we all are on our smart phones these days.

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  2. Love this! Early on in our dating, I would get so mad that my now husband would be playing games on his phone when I would rarely see him. This caused fights, but after reading an article about having boundaries I shared with him that we should too. Every since that we are more aware of our screen time when we are together. We have a rule of no phones on the bed rule. We also try to keep our phones out of our room.

    Also, being present with those you are with at dinner parties is something I am still working on. With Snapchat and wanting to get a photo to later post can be hard for me to keep it in my purse. Enjoyed reading this!

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    • Yeeessss!!!! Omg! Love those photo ops and hate to let them get away. I love taking pics and capturing all the moments. I had to put my lhonevaway during my daughter’s bball games because I was missing the game trying to get great pics!!!! Lolol!!! Thanks for taking the time to share! I enjoyed hearing from you! 😊

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  3. I dared my husband two months ago that he couldn’t go a day without his gadgets, we haven’t followed through with that bet yet lol. Technology really has changed how we engage and communicate… In ’95 I could not stop talking on the phone, all I did was talk to my friends now we like each others pictures on Facebook and text from time to time to check in…My daughter has her own tablet and I already see she is becoming just as bad as her parents. We have got to work on cutting of our gadgets too. Good idea about the device container.

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    • Thanks so much for sharing! I totally agree! I’m sure we are all.guilty in some way. It is surprising how much we engage and how little we are aware just how much. I’ve made my own adjustments as well to help keep it all in balance. Thank you for sharing! It’s great to exchange! 😊😊😊

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  4. Great post and very relative to the world we live in today. I am a high school technology teacher and I’m afraid that our children have been raised by technology-not good! While technology can be a great resource, if used without boundaries it can also be very isolating and damaging to relationships. I must admit that this generation of students are very tech savvy but many do not have the skills needed to build relationships. This is such a great reminder for me as I am also a mother and at times can get lost on the WWW. Thanks!

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    • Wow!!! I totally agree Heather. What a valuable point you make that our children are being raised by technology, yet lack the relationship building skills. I found it amusing when I taught high school, how many of the students that were “dating” only communicated through text!!! Wowzers. How is that possible??? lol! Great exchange. Thanks so much for stopping by!!! 🙂

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