OFF THE WALL…

When I was in 6th grade, I remember our middle school having a big dance. Though it was held in our gymnasium, and the teachers were our chaperones, somehow, to us, it was considered a MAJOR event. I knew most of the kids in my grade and even the upper classmen. We had been going to school together since elementary. I was actually considered decently popular (if there is such a thing in 6th grade… 😊) And though the DJ was BLASTING some of that year’s greatest JAMS, it did not stop my tremendous fear of getting on the dance floor. I literally sat there the entire time watching all the kids dance wishing I had the guts to get out there and jam right along with them. Instead, I played it safe, and stayed my butt on the wall the entire night overcome with great envy and fear. I was so disappointed in myself. Over time I matured. I gained a bit of confidence and by the time I was in the 8th grade, I was not only helping to organize the dances, but I had choreographed routines to Bobby Brown and Janet Jackson’s greatest hits in order to show off my dance skills with my friends!!! Lol!

Speed this up to 2018, 30+ years later, recently, I have been listening to Michael Jackson’s awesome hit song, “Off the Wall.” If you get a chance you should check it out. But the lyrics made me remember that 6th grade experience. I wonder how many of us get stuck in that same “wall” rut. We get caught up in our mundane routines of life. At one time they may have seemed thrilling, but as we get up, go to work, take the kids to school, come home, eat, sleep, and then repeat… we find ourselves slipping into a bit of boredom and even despair. We are frustrated with the monotony, but don’t really know any other way. The kids HAVE to go to practice. We HAVE to work, do laundry, cook, clean, etc… and it becomes too easy to lean up against that wall and watch everyone else enjoying themselves. Because, for us, the thrill is gone…Yep. I get it.

HOWEVER. There is SO much more to life than a job. Than taking kids back and forth to practice. Than sitting in traffic. Than living that predictable, controlled, mundane life. Life is supposed to be ENJOYED!!! Full of adventure and love and zest and FUN!!!!!! It can seem a bit intimidating to step outside our comfort zones and try new ideas, travel new terrain, explore unfamiliar scenes. I mean, who has time or energy or even money for all that???? But getting off the wall doesn’t mean we have to go do a solo dance routine. Doesn’t mean we have to purchase a tuxedo and meet with a dance instructor or to audition for Julliard…

It could mean getting up and watching the sunrise. Committing to a new hiking destination once a month. Making a dish inspired by various countries all over the world. Road tripping twice a year. Getting that new pixie cut you’ve been too scared to try, renting a convertible for the weekend, buying silver boots to wear to the concert of your favorite band, learning a new language online, saving up to see a new country each year. Renting a pontoon for the family vacay. Taking dance lessons. You get the idea. Whatever the case, YOU GOT TO GET OFF THAT WALL!!!! The safe route is a road that leads to stagnation. Boredom. And Despair. Yes, you have a job. You have to be a responsible adult, spouse, parent, employee, homeowner etc… But we MUST commit to doing things on a REGULAR basis that, though may be uncomfortable, or cost a little money, or require a little planning, force us to get off the wall and enjoy this life.

As it stands right now, I have two teenagers, a husband and a dog. All of them require my time, energy, love and commitment. I am FULLY devoted to them. However, I understand that in order to live a balanced life, in order to be 100% for them, I HAVE TO do things that stimulate my joy, stir up my excitement, put thrill back on the scene. Some of the things I do/have done in the past have been simple, free, inexpensive, or sometimes not so much, but I am committed to doing something carefree and fun at least once a week and if possible once a day!

It is so cliché’ to say life is short, but it is so true. When we leave this beautiful place, we can’t take our jobs, our cars, our houses or clothing with us. It won’t matter what items or titles we’ve acquired. What will matter, are the experiences we enjoyed and how much LIFE we lived and the amazing memories and lessons we gained along the way. We must be intentional about squeezing every drip drop of this awesome journey.

I pray that you don’t get on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter etc… and look at everyone else on the dance floor. That you don’t scroll through their pictures of trips to the ocean, but that right where you are, you make those moments for yourself.  Get so good at living off the wall, you have choreographed dance numbers for every song that is played. You are jammin’ so hard, you inspire others to jam as well… And in the words of the great Michael Jackson, you will be sure to find, “Life ain’t so bad at all… if you live it off the wall!!!!” 😊

resized_photogrid_1542225726971001_89801107250347391976201.jpeg

WordPress is SO Much Better Than Facebook Right Now…

Ok. Many of you can agree that social media has gotten RIDICULOUS with all the political rants, conspiracy theories, social injustices and just divisive, opinionated vent sessions that actually resemble elements of virtual bullying. It is sad to see some of your “friends” (who are understandably frustrated) behave in ways that are foreign to their regular demeanor.  While I wait for the temporary adult temper tantrums to settle, I have recently taken a bit of a break from what was otherwise a great spot to reflect and share experiences, celebrations, pictures and great ideas. In the meantime, I have greatly enjoyed scrolling through my WordPress feed to read various blog posts. I have to admit, I find myself enthralled with the thoughtful, insight I am finding through various blogs. There are beautiful reflections of life experiences, helpful tips, recipes, DIY’s, poems, short stories and points of wisdom and motivation; actual depth. As a former English teacher, I am already accustomed to reading various forms of literature, so I feel right at home. If you find yourself needing a bit of a breather from your typical scroll through FB, Instagram or the like, scroll through your WordPress feed and check out all the goodies that lie in wait of great reflection. Don’t just “like” it. Give some feedback. Just as you love for others to stop by your page and reflect, they love for you to do the same. In the meantime, if you are looking for someone to read your awesome post, attach a link in the comment section. I will be sure to take some time to read and reflect!!! Blessings to you! #sharingthelove

The Problem with Blogging…

The problem with blogging is that everyone wants to be a writer and no one wants to be a reader. Everyone has such “insight” and wisdom; and so many great and not so great experiences to share that they become more interested in sharing their thoughts than gathering others’.

It would be okay if everyone in attendance at the bake sale was selling various delicious cupcakes. However, if the only people attending the bake sale are the bakers themselves, and the bakers were not buying the other cupcakes… no one would have a sale… 😮😮😮

I encourage everyone to get out and try some other cupcakes. They are delicious and rich and bursting with flavor! The taste and recipe alone may spawn new recipes in you. You may even shed some of your amazing insight with another baker, with hopes their cupcake recipes become better than ever!!!! Something to think about. Happy tasting… ☺

Friends or Nah…

My husband and I had dinner with some old friends from college who were in town this weekend.  We had a great meal; laughed, reminisced about the past, shared photos and caught up on all the happenings of our lives.  It was SO refreshing to exchange with a fellow Christian couple that shared not only super history, but similar goals and beliefs. I was left to wonder why I didn’t have this kind of fellowship on a regular basis. Of course, I have buddies. Of course I exchange with many people often and have a ton of Facebook friends… But I must admit, at 39 years old, I can only count on one hand the number of “FRIENDS” I have. It led me to consider, what makes a true friend?

After moving to a new town, I have met some pretty outstanding people. I also know a TON of people from church, former jobs, college and of course childhood cronies. But FRIENDS???? What makes a TRUE FRIEND? When we were younger, if people shared common interest, we naturally gravitated toward them. We’re in band together, we live in the same apartment complex, we listen to the same music on the bus… It didn’t take much to be “besties”.  I remember my Freshman year in college, my roommate was from California.  She smoked weed every day and played on the soccer team. We had NOTHING in common, but she was… THERE and quickly became the default sound board for all things and actually had voice in my life. Friends were determined by the fraternity you pledged, the position/title you held at work, or the proximity of residence. It all seemed fine during those early years. You shared things in common and it was convenient. It was FUN.

Interestingly, you remember all too well when you were little and your parents guarded who you hung around. They didn’t want you to associate with the local thugs because they knew you would be influenced by them. No matter how strong you were, what upbringing you had, you could potentially morph over into whatever it was they were engaging in.

So what about NOW? Now that you are older? Maybe you have kids. You are single or married. You are at the beginning phases of the call God has on your life. You are in a new town and have to find a church home or places to hang out. NOW more than ever it is SO important to assess who is allowed to speak into your life or give you advice. Who is able to influence your decisions and of course who you spend your time with. You will find the criteria of old just won’t cut it. Everyone is not going where you are going? Everyone won’t be able to handle the success you will experience or the plan of God you are fulfilling. Everyone’s faith is not as strong as yours and won’t be able to handle the heights you will soar.

More than often, you will find old friends not celebrate you in the place you are going because they knew where you “used” to be. You will find a colleague that has chosen to stay dormant not celebrate your new promotion. You will find the places you used to hang with your college friends, are loaded with people doing the same old things you used to do. For example, an old college buddy of mine was getting married. Her bachelorette party was in a night club and allllllll our old mutual friends were going.  Ummmm…. though I love you, there is NOTHING for me at that place. I am married. I have two kids. I don’t drink and at the time, I was teaching high school.  I kindly declined. However, it was met with great opposition. My loyalty as a friend was questioned. REALLY? Though we were the same age. Though we shared a great history. Though we were both professionals and connected to a spouse/family (or soon to be) she could not understand or accept that I could no longer engage in those things. That my life is not my own. That I could not afford to compromise my witness, my life, my future for a night of (seeming) fun. Now I would certainly not judge her, or anyone else for the decisions they make and what may be acceptable for them. But as for ME. I have WAAAAAY too much to consider when it comes to the places I go and the people I connect with.

 As a Christian, you will have to make several hard core decisions. Those decisions cannot be weak and should not be based around the approval of people.  If it lines up with the Word, it will produce fruit in your life. If people are not where you are spiritually, they may not understand or agree with those choices. However, that cannot cause you to compromise making a strong stance for Jesus. For an example, you may not be able to watch shows/movies, listen to music, go to events or places you used to. If the people in your life don’t understand that, perhaps they need to be put at a further distance.  Now, that doesn’t mean you have to have a deep “break up” discussion with them. But perhaps you need to put a nice space between yourselves. Perhaps you don’t talk EVERY week, but once every couple months. Perhaps you discontinue soliciting their opinion about major decisions in your life. Perhaps you stop exchanging life goals with them.

Whatever the case, the new criteria for making and establishing friendships should be this: What is your relationship with Christ? Not, are you perfect? Not, do you go to clubs or not? But where does God fit into your life? You will find, the general details of the relationship will naturally line up under that basic umbrella. People don’t have to be just like you in order to be your friend, however, sharing a common spiritual foundation eliminates the excess baggage that ultimately trips us up. When you have a spiritual connection, it weeds out a lot of the uncommon practices, beliefs, and goals. You will have a prayer partner. Someone who can celebrate your successes. An accountability partner. A soundboard for ideas etc…

Ultimately, I am super grateful for the relationships and memories of my past. I cherish the great times throughout the growing phases of my journey. But God is working on me. He is taking me places. I have goals. I have people attached to my life and I am on a mission. I realize that everyone is not on my team, doesn’t celebrate me and is not going where I am going. My criteria has changed. And though I walk in love with EVERYONE, I am super selective of people I let into my circle. Even Jesus had only a small few that He deeply connected His life, mission and purpose with. Be selective with who is allowed to be your “friend.” They will be the ones to love you where you are, encourage you on the journey and celebrate you when you get there.