The Power of a Village… THANK YOU!!!

Let me start this blog off by saying this: by no means is my son an Olympic athlete. He started running cross-country a couple years ago as a means to stay active and be a part of a team. Last week he had his first meet of the season. Up until then, he had regular practice each day and even ran some in the summer. He also grew quite a bit over the last few months and was excited about his new “man” strength! 😊 But somehow for the first time, before the race, I saw fear in his eyes. He was so nervous and spoke of pain in his ankle and shin, and just lacked confidence. Nonetheless, as always, we were on the sidelines cheering him on expecting a successful run.

After his race, he was near tears. He was so disappointed in his performance. He was passed by some of his underclassman teammates, finished with a lower time than his previous year and placed 56th overall. He was devastated. We of course, cheered him up, encouraged him and helped him refocus his attention toward the upcoming races as best as we could.

That next week went on like a typical week. The kids went to school, practice, church, and we had our normal family time each day. Oh yeah, we also had a little Labor Day get-together at our house, but other than that, the week was normal. Hindsight, I’ve come to reflect, that our week was anything but normal.

That Sunday, our pastor preached a message about the power of the Spirit. He talked about telling your body and your mind to line up with what God says about you. That Monday during our get-together, one of his great mentors went on a run with him, while some of the other fellas sat on the porch with him and watched a couple of his favorite shows. They spoke life to him and just treated him like the awesome young man he is. On Wednesday, he went to youth Bible study, where the pastor talked about “believing”/ having faith over fear and doubt.

By Thursday of this week, it was time for another race. On the way to school we gave him the typical pep talk, prayed and encouraged him to do his best. Later that day, as he stood at the starting line with 100+ young men, we weren’t sure what to expect, but we were hoping for the best. As always, I made the 1-hour drive to be on the sidelines, while his dad got permission to leave an hour early from work to be there as well. When the gun went off to start the race, I saw a difference in him. I saw a confidence. A determination. As he fought his way to get toward the front of the pack, I was excited about how this race could go.

For the next several minutes, I watched him run through the woods, up and down the hills, and on the track with boldness. It was nearly 90 degrees outside, the terrain was steep, rugged and rough. He reflected later that on his toughest hill, we wanted to take a break and just speed walk a bit. But he remembered what he learned that week. He simply “believed.” He commanded his body and mind to line up. He listened to the cheers of his teammates and his parents. He realized that for the first time in his cross-country career, he was the lead runner of his team. It propelled him further. He gained momentum. At the last few meters of his race, I saw the fierceness in his eyes. He flew across that finish line with the fastest time he’d ever run, the highest ranking he’d ever had and the proudest he’d ever been.

He later recounted all the small things that pushed him to be great. And though I’d like to think he has an awesome team at home, I fully understand that, as parents we couldn’t possibly do this journey alone. That it is not just the training, love, wisdom, discipline he gets inside the four walls of our house, but it is the weekly Word he gets on a continual basis from our awesome pastor. It is the pep talk he gets from his loving Aunt when he sees her in the summertime, or the love he gets from his Grandmother that cares for him in our absence, or the visit from his Grandfather and Uncle, the beautiful people he sees at church that impart love and affirmation, the teammates that cheer him on from the sidelines, the ladies that served in the nursery and youth department, the teachers that encouraged him to be great, my colleague who drives 3 hours to cheer from the stands, the babysitters that cared for him with love, the positive TV shows that line up with the things we teach him at home… are all forces working hand and hand toward his success.

As parents, we are called to the beautiful yet sometimes challenging task of loving and training our children to become all God has called them to be. It is indeed a journey that lasts a lifetime, however, we also need to remember that it is a collection of the amazing people who surround them, who impart knowledge, wisdom and love that will aide in that journey as well. As graduation draws near, I am beyond grateful for the AMAZING people who have loved on our children past, present and future. I see the fruit of their seed come to life daily. I am also intentional about putting these type of people in their path from birth throughout.

If you are privileged enough to be a teacher, coach, aunt, uncle, mentor, pastor, or any position of influence over children, never doubt the power of your influence. My son still has the trophy given to him by his 2nd grade teacher. He remembers the $100 his uncle sent for his fundraiser, or the encouraging card his Godmother sends each birthday. He remembers when his mentor came to his chess meets, or when his Uncle took the time to read his comic book. You have more power than you know. Your words and acts of love STICK.

Parents, I pray you SUMERGE your children with love and encouragement inside and outside the home. Recognize that this is not a task you can do alone. That every single fabric of their life will leave some sort of imprint. May their journey be filled with people, places and things that bring hope, inspiration and love. In the meantime, thank you so much to all the amazing people all over the country, past and present who have left a beautiful imprint on my son and daughter’s life. You mean more to us than you know. You truly have made a difference in their life and ultimately are the hands and feet of God.

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Cover photo: Quotesnew.com
Text photo: Jenni Dixon

THE “RACE CARD” IS COMPLETELY MAXED OUT!!!!

I was in the store with my son and daughter waiting to be checked out the other day when suddenly I heard a very abrupt, loud, out of control screaming, cussing and straight-up foolery break out.  The customer in front of us was VERY upset that her small number of items resulted in a bill totaling $29. After an awkward silence, the clerk responded with a casual “I don’t make the prices, I just work here.” The customer LOST IT!!!!!! She apparently felt disrespected during her time of vulnerability and she spewed out cuss words I haven’t heard in YEARS!!!! Called the clerk all kinds of horrible names, insulted her “minimum wage job” and had to be physically restrained (by her husband) from going over the counter to assault the cashier!!!  Though her behavior and words (in front of children) were disgraceful, what got me was when she called the clerk a “racist @$%%$##@&!!!!” I was completely embarrassed. Yes, she was visiting an all-white town, yes there are ignorant people in our world, but being black did not give her a license to act in an unbecoming manner, evoke a rational response, only to be met with the RACE CARD!!!! Race had absolutely nothing to do with this. But too often it is at the forefront of almost all current disputes, acts of violence and discussions and many times it is unwarranted.

I must admit I currently live in a predominately white town, my kids attend a predominately white school, and half my family is white. However, I have attended and taught in mostly black schools, lived in all black neighborhoods and half my family is also black. I’ve communed alongside some of the most amazing people; black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish… you name it. I am indeed educated, I have directly benefited from some of the great opportunities our country offers, and have never been denied access to any of my many pursuits and achievements. Unfortunately, with all the great strides that have been made for equality, we seem to be more divided now than ever before. Nevertheless, we will never change the face of stereotypes by perpetuating the very behaviors and images that seem to plague our brains through history, unfortunate experiences, media etc…

I am privileged to be biracial, though I have personally never subscribed to the black/white thing. It is simply a means to separate God’s creation. However, whatever entity we may subscribe to, we have the responsibility to represent that with excellence. If we want to change the way we are viewed and treated, it starts right with our daily walk, with our regular interactions and our unfamiliar encounters. We need to put the race card away!! As far as I am concerned, if someone choses to be racist, it has ZERO impact on me. They have no true power/authority to influence any part of my life. Therefore, it is their problem, not mine. In the meantime, we need to take the magnifying glass off the problem and become the solution. The resolution is simple. WALK IN LOVE!!

Everyone has a history we may not understand. It is easy to see others through our own perspective and experiences. It is easy to look at a man with a bushy beard, a worn Harley black leather jacket and a confederate flag bandana on his head and make an assumption. But why? He is a small business owner, grandfather of 3, husband of 29 years and devout southerner. My husband is black, 6’4, has on a baseball cap and worn sweaty t-shirt and big gym shoes but has to make a quick stop at the store. Based on the images seen on TV and various experiences, a visitor in our town may be inclined to clutch their purse harder and become aware of the potential threat he may pose.  She would never know he is a senior robotics engineering manager for a major corporation, father of 2, and a minister of music who finished taking his 14-year-old daughter to the rec center to play basketball and stopped for a gallon of almond milk to make kale smoothies in the morning for breakfast. However, it is his responsibility to make sure if he doesn’t want people to grab their purse in his presence, that he is not sagging his pants, riding off from the store blasting obscene music, cussing on the phone to one of his boys like he is the only one in the store. Instead, why not smile? Greet people as they come in his presence? Walk with his daughter throughout the store with the proud glow that any parent can recognize?  But most importantly exude the love of Christ in excellence.

Though it may seem an undue charge, (I mean, who has time for all that) it is a bill we all have to pay. If we want people to treat us beyond the horrible images they know, we have to reinvent that image. We have to walk in the universal language that breaks down walls and is understood by everyone. We must remember that race, religion, gender, etc.… does not give us a free pass to behave out of character. Unfortunately, I believe the angry customer I mentioned earlier went to jail. She will leave this experience believing that she was wrongfully treated and feel some sort of justification for her behavior. Instead of acknowledging that she not only hurt herself, she only confirmed the beliefs of many of the people in the store that day, which only hindered the overall plight of everyone.  Let us all do our part to extend a bit of grace to our fellow brothers and sisters. Let us treat others as we would like to be treated. Let us walk in love. Let us put away the race card and BE THE CHANGE WE WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. 😊

QUIT QUITTING…

My husband and I took our kids to the track at the high school this weekend to help get my son in shape for track season. After a great warm up and stretch, we challenged them to a timed race in the 100-meter dash. They started on the appropriate lines, took off at the command, and seemed to be pumped for what appeared to be a fair competition. Half way through the race, my daughter took the clear lead, at which my son slowed down and discontinued his attempt at winning. I stood at the finish line appalled. Though I was happy my daughter got the win, I was quick to encourage my son to finish the race. What was he thinking???? Sure, it LOOKED as if he would not be victorious in this race, but quitting insured that outcome.

Later I considered how many tasks we are quick to start, yet perform in a similar manner. We get distracted, see the outcome as overwhelming, too much to do, or impossible and quit before we experience the victory of completion.

I want to encourage you to finish your course strong. Stay focused. Though 100 meters can appear intimidating, there is victory in crossing that finish line. Every single small step toward that goal is a step closer to achievement. It’s not about “who gets there first,” or if we get there RIGHT NOW… but that we made it, and more importantly, that we didn’t give up. Know that with God, all things are possible. That He can provide the tail wind needed to lessen the load. Trust in His strength and finish strong!!! You are on the winning team!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!!

Quit Quitting on:

  • that healthy eating plan you started this year
  • the book you began and can’t seem to finish
  • That loved one who won’t seem to do “right”
  • your goals to stop smoking
  • The exercise routine you planned
  • Getting out of debt
  • Drinking more water
  • that degree you started but keep putting off
  • Going to bed earlier
  • Your marriage
  • Keeping up with your blog!!!! ☺☺😜😜😨😨😨😆😆
  • not eating at fast food restaurants
  • Controlling your temper
  • That tough project at work
  • Getting up earlier
  • Being on time

Perhaps your goal is not listed above, but you know what it is. See it through. Finish your race strong. That finish line is closer than you think and there is victory waiting on the other side!