100 Ways to ENJOY THE (QUARANTINE) JOURNEY…

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 5 Comments

Greetings to you and your family!!! I know this is a very difficult time for us all. I pray that you are not only healed in your physical body, but that your spirit and mind are whole and at rest. That you combat the urge to fill your days with frustration, worry, doubt, fear and even boredom… And you supplement them with joy, peace and love. That you find your strength in faith, hope and the knowledge that God has us all in the palm of His hand and that we WILL overcome.

If you know anything about me, you know that I will find the sunshine in the storm. As difficult as it may seem, we all must do our best to ENJOY THE JOURNEY. A positive thing that has come from our time at home, is the level of creativity we’ve had to produce. It is a beautiful thing to see. We have had to create new activities to maintain a way of life that keeps us in good spirits. Just in case your “idea bank” is running low, I’ve created a list of possibilities you can explore. Whether by yourself, with your kids, spouse, or as a family, here are some activities that can help you and your loved ones continue to enjoy the journey, quarantine style…

  1. Make a COVID-19 time capsule
  2. Have a beautiful picture contest (post the pics online for friends to vote on a winner)
  3. Create jars of positive quotes on strips of paper (pick a new one to share each day)
  4. Catalog your personal COVID-19 journey with a daily journal
  5. Chalk paint the sidewalk
  6. Explore the US National Parks
  7. Look up “dream homes” for sale (Realtor.com, Redfin, Zillow, etc.) Present them to the family.
  8. Make homemade cloth face masks
  9. Use the Sky Map app to look at the stars and planets
  10. Make homemade granola/trail mix
  11. Create a vision board with old magazines
  12. Grab your favorite snacks and drive through beautiful neighborhoods
  13. Research new vacation destinations, (budget, location, activities, hotel etc.) Create a PowerPoint presentation to share with the family for future consideration.
  14. Create thematic playlists (working out, meditating, dancing, cruising etc.)
  15. Have a day at the salon “AT HOME” (do nails, hair, make-up etc.)
  16. Go near an airport and watch planes land and takeoff from the hood of your car (bring snacks and music of course)
  17. Have a weekly ZOOM bible study with your friends
  18. Have a family slumber party
  19. Plant some new trees/flowers/shrubs
  20. Write online reviews for restaurants, stores, products, services you have experienced
  21. Have a couple’s/family paint & sip (follow a YouTube/Pinterest for painting tutorial)
  22. Catalog your COVID-19 journey with a YouTube channel
  23. Have a family tea-party
  24. Walk and listen to a daily podcast (3-5 days a week)
  25. Have a spa day AT HOME (include candles, music, bubbles, oils etc.)
  26. Camp in the back yard
  27. Build a fort (let the kids sleep there😊)
  28. Order copies of the same book and have a family story/reading time
  29. Hand wash/wax the cars
  30. Build your own website
  31. Research potential college/universities to attend
  32. Write and distribute thank you cards to service, healthcare, education, etc. workers
  33. Collect and paint rocks
  34. Make some homemade jewelry (send to loved ones)
  35. Make new homemade dog food recipes
  36. Make family Tik Toks
  37. Have a family award ceremony (present each member with a special award)
  38. Start a virtual book club with your friends
  39. Create a new recipe catalog (exchange with friends online)
  40. Have a takeout date night picnic
  41. Make a scavenger hunt/indoor obstacle course
  42. Have a movie making contest (use iMovie, Videoshop etc.)
  43. Write a handwritten letter to a senior family member
  44. Take a virtual yoga class (YouTube)
  45. Invent a product/business or idea (write out the details and present them to your family)
  46. Complete a large puzzle
  47. Have a family/team bake-off
  48. Make a family scrapbook
  49. Make a bird-feeder (YouTube/Pinterest tutorial)
  50. Give your spouse a massage experience (candles, oils, aromas etc.)
  51. Make and play a family Kahoot game
  52. Make new shorts out of old jeans and sweatpants
  53. Have a themed movie night (Marvel, Rocky, The Karate Kid etc.)
  54. Update your resume
  55. Learn how to play chess. Have online competitions
  56. Create a poetry book
  57. Create a themed scripture list (faith, love, hope, friendship etc.)
  58. Write a funny or inspiring original COVID-19 themed song, rap or poem
  59. Have a family fashion show (include music 😊)
  60. Plant a garden
  61. Restyle your room
  62. Build a bonfire
  63. Make homemade hand sanitizer/shampoo/toothpaste/house cleaning products etc.
  64. Make a gratitude board or journal
  65. Have a family photo shoot
  66. Go on a hike/country walk
  67. Play board games/cards
  68. Have a family picnice
  69. Sightsee all over the world virtually
  70. Write and illustrate a children’s book
  71. Have a family sock/paper bag puppet show
  72. Make a coloring book
  73. Play frisbee
  74. Go fishing
  75. Make homemade popcorn experiment with various seasonings and flavors (i.e. smoked paprika, garlic Parmesan, dill pickle)
  76. Make a homemade facial/beauty mask
  77. Play charades
  78. Groom your dog
  79. Paint an accent wall
  80. Blast your music and have a family Soul Train line
  81. Have a karaoke/lip sync/rap battle party (YouTube)
  82. Have a water gun/balloon fight
  83. Scroll through your social media and post 10 things you love about one friend each day
  84. Watch a sunrise/sunset
  85. Create a family coffee/hot chocolate/tea/smoothie shop (try different brands, flavorings, toppings, etc.)
  86. Buy some coloring books and COLOR 😊 (have a family coloring contest)
  87. Make s’mores
  88. Get dressed up and have a fancy candlelight dinner (include music and dancing)
  89. Create a new bucket list (add a practical timeline to fulfill your list)
  90. Play flashlight tag/capture the flag/truth or dare
  91. Make and fly a kite
  92. Make slime/play dough
  93. Have a “YAY-DAY” celebrate anything/everything/anyone/everyone JUST BECAUSE
  94. Have a comedy night, watch stand-up comedy on YouTube
  95. Have a family magic show competition
  96. Play Tag/Hide and Seek/Red-Light Green-Light/Red Rover etc.
  97. Prepare a lesson/sermon (of your choice) and teach it to your family members (include a test after the lesson)
  98. Make a box/bag of items to donate
  99. Declutter/purge old content/apps/pictures from your electronic devices
  100. Experiment with temporary wild hair colors/braids/styles

Heavenly Grounds: A DIY/Real Estate Journey

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 13 Comments

August 2014, my husband rented a home off the coast of Northern California to celebrate our 15-year anniversary. It was probably one of the best weeks of my life. This property was among the most beautiful I had ever seen. The views were AMAZING, the sounds, the smells, the wildlife…  It literally took my breath away. The interior was beautifully decorated and furnished with every luxury to make us feel right at home. I doubt we touched a cell phone, watched TV, or tuned into anything that distracted our attention from the magic of our time together. Instead, we unplugged. We talked. We walked. We sat. We vision casted. We reminisced. (Of course we did some other stuff too, lol. But that’s for another time!!! 😊) The home gave us the means to focus our attention solely on each other. And the atmosphere set the tone for optimal enjoyment.

I took a million pictures, hoping to somehow capture, contain and even share some of the wonder of this place, but it just didn’t transfer. I wished EVERYONE I knew could just witness and experience it. I remember thinking to myself that one day I wanted to give this amazing gift to others. I wanted to somehow share the magic of my time here. I wanted people to experience a place where they could surrender all their daily worries and stresses. They could unwind and create memories with their loved ones that would add meaning and rest to their journey.

That house was over a million dollars!!! How in the heck could I own and furnish a home like that, let alone, GIVE or LOAN it to someone else??????  I mean think about it, the house was right off the ocean. The property alone was a TON of money. Now consider the decorations, furnishings, the landscaping, the upkeep… YIKES!!! After a week of sheer bliss, we returned to our normal lives at home. And as outlandish as it seemed, I kept that dream in my back pocket. Not to let it die, simply to rest for a while… And back we went to our regularly scheduled program…

If you know me, or follow my blogs, you know 5 years ago, we sold everything we owned, and built a home in the North Georgia mountains. It was a dream for us. We had vacationed there as a family for over 10 years. It was our happy place. But to actually live there was completely unplanned, yet completely miraculous.

We enjoyed every bit of watching that home being built by one of our favorite builders. It was hand crafted with so much care and detail. Upon completion, I couldn’t WAIT to furnish every square inch!!! I had a TON of ideas, but I was a stay at home mom, and we were limited to one salary. There was no way I could afford the purchases necessary to accent the gravity of this house. The walls were custom. The fireplace, showers, floors and cabinets were hand made. I could not obstruct its beauty with cheap décor. The only alternative was to birth these ideas I had in my brain with my own hands. And that is what we did.

It took almost 3 years to do it, but just about every room was embellished with colors, textures, wall hangings, and ideas that came straight from the heart. It was my goal that my family and our visitors would be submerged with a spirit of love, joy and peace each time they entered. We enjoyed countless good times, memories, laughs, and best of all, we were able to share them with our friends and family during our many gatherings.

(Swipe left to check out some of our projects here)

Our “forever” plans were recently interrupted by a job transfer for my husband and college endeavor for my son. We have successfully relocated to the Phoenix area. For several reasons, this was a bitter/sweet move. However, the sweet has been a full-circle kind of sweet.

For the past several months, we have been able to take that old dream out of our pocket and experience it in its full splendor. Our home has become the vacation rental property for families to enjoy. It has been an opportunity for us to share one of our favorite places on earth with others. Our walls are filled with meaningful accents that highlight our journey. There are pictures, window treatments, signs, walkways, landscaping all created with love, I’d dare say more meaningful than money could buy. It’s our best work. This house has become a gallery for some of our greatest DIY projects, and I am so blessed to be able to share them with others.

We simply named the home “Heavenly Grounds.” To us, that is exactly what it is. It sits on a mountaintop where views from miles away can be adored. It’s on a dead-end dirt road where deer, turtles, wild turkeys and even bears freely dwell. During the fall months, the leaves paint a new scene every day, while snow dustings cover the mountains during the winter. There are paths and trails once walked by my children and their beloved dog. My son got ready for prom there. My daughter enjoyed her cross-country party there. We hosted several gatherings there. We camped by the fireplace there. Read books, baked cookies, cooked smores, and counted stars there. And now others can do the same.

God has shown me time and time again that His ways are so much higher than mine. That He cares about the large and small desires of my heart. And that my wants are never too big for Him. I thought once I stepped away from my teaching career, I stepped away from a major opportunity to bless others and produce income using my greatest talent. I never considered all the other ways I could give of myself to still be a blessing. Though in a different location, I am so grateful to have the opportunity to share the splendor I experienced in California those years ago. It is better than any picture I could have taken.

I pray that you too take moments to dream. That you hold fast to the desires of your heart. Know that you don’t have to grind or toil to enjoy the journey of those dreams coming true. Know that His grace is sufficient. Write that book. Start that business. Pitch that idea. Apply for that job. Write that song. Know that if you make a habit or hobby of using your gifts and talents to spread love and joy to others, He will support it. May your dreams be too big for you to accomplish on your own and may you see them all come to pass…

Pics: Courtesy of Southern Comfort Cabin Rentals/Rachel Callihan-Cowart

LETTING GO… A Parent’s Guide to Enjoying the Journey

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 3 Comments

Last week, I had the amazing privilege of dropping off my son to the place he will call home for the next four years. While this was CERTAINLY difficult to do, (I mean, he’s my baby… my first born… He’s never been away from home for an extended length of time before…) it was one of the proudest moments of my adult life. I took him to one of the greatest universities in the country to live, eat, breathe, think, and grow on his own. How could I possibly have made it through this ordeal without completely losing it????? Well, I did it. He did it. And we are all off to the start of the newest chapter of our awesome journey. BUT HOW???? How can letting go be so easy?

As a parent, letting go is not easy. It has never been easy. But if you think about it, we have been practicing “letting go” for a while now. When it was time for them to get out of our bed and into their own. When it was time to transition them from breastfeeding to a cup. When they advanced from diapers to “big-boy” pants. When they went from crawling to walking, being at home to going to preschool, training wheels to “big-boy” wheels, baby teeth to permanent teeth, elementary, middle and high school, all have moments in which we are constantly letting go.

Where the ease comes is knowing that in order for them to grow into the beautiful person God called them to be, we HAVE TO let go. We cannot hinder their maturation because of our selfish (let’s face it 😊) desires to hold on to the beauty of this amazing stage and not let them advance to the next. The intimate moments of breastfeeding were SO miraculous to me. I breast fed both of my children for a year, and I cherished that bonding time I had with each of them. Similarly to having them in the bed with me, or at home with me, and even in my belly. However, at some point, holding on to those moments, verses setting them free can become detrimental to their development.

My ability to let go, rests in two things: preparation and faith. Throughout the process of their growth, I have come to invest heavily in preparing them for the upcoming chapter of life. While enjoying the crawling phase, I am mindful that ultimately, our goal is for him to walk. Though he is SOOOO cute crawling around at top speeds on all four legs and I would love to hold on to these precious moments, I have to prepare him to not grow comfortable with being on four legs, but two. It is scary. I mean, what if he falls, he will hurt himself. He is several more feet off the floor on two legs than four. There are many more dangers at that height, I will have to buy him shoes, and he will walk so slowly and wobbly for quite a while. This is all so true, but not enough to stop the need to advance him. As parents, we need to do as much as we can to prepare our children for the next phases in their journey. When we do that to the best of our ability, we can rest in that preparation when ‘go time’ comes.

Finally, we have to have faith. While parenting, we become heavily reliant on our ability to control the situations in our child’s life. As long as they use our methods and do things our way, in our presence, they will be safe and free from harm. We shackle them (with good intentions of course 😊) to our best practices we deem THE ONE TRUE WAY. While we certainly have our child’s best interest at heart, we must have faith in not only all we have taught them, but in a God who has them in the palm of His hand. Surely, we don’t want them to fail. It is gut-wrenching to watch them fall off that bike all 25 times after removing the training wheels. But I often ask the question, “DID THEY DIE THOUGH????” As silly as it sounds, it is so true. They did not die, they got better. They got up, brushed themselves off and went right back at it until they nailed it. Have faith in the learning process. Have faith in all you taught them, and ultimately, have faith in God.

Though we are only on week one of this great college journey, I am excited about the growth that will happen. My son knows we are here to guide and help him throughout his adventures. However, the training wheels have been removed and ultimately, I have had to relinquish the reigns and come to terms with a lifetime of increased ‘letting go’. As time goes on, I will find myself letting go even more as he pursues a career, a home, a wife, family and life of his own. The thought of it can be overwhelming, but the other side of birth, bottles, diapers, training wheels, baby teeth, and kindergarten, are great adventures that help them become all God has called them to be. I am SO grateful to be a part of the great preparation process. And now I will rest in faith that he will continue to exceed our greatest expectations. In the meantime, we will be right here in the stands cheering him on through his amazing journey.

No matter what chapter you and your child are currently scripting, know that letting go is all a part of your beautiful story. May you enjoy it to the fullest!!! 😊

“See Ya’ Later, Alligator…”

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 22 Comments

Whenever I visit my nieces, (who happen to live 2,000 miles away) I always have such a great time. They are so innocent and joyful and playful and just a complete BLAST. After a few days of bliss, it is actually very difficult to leave. The thought that the good times have to come to an end, that I won’t see them for a while, that the next time I visit, they will have grown and evolved into a different phase of their development, and that I will simply just miss them, can be pretty hard to bare. However, my oldest niece has a way of lightening the mood. She has a carefree way of looking at the situation. Interestingly, she doesn’t get all sappy and overwhelmed with the departure, almost as if she knows that we will indeed see each other again, that we will talk on the phone, that we will exchange Christmas/birthday gifts and messages and that we will embrace the next phase of our growth and celebrate it. She gives me a big hug and I simply say, “See ya later, alligator!” and she retorts, “See ya’ soon, baboon!!!!” 😂😜😜

After 11 years of living in the great state of Georgia, teaching some of the best students, working alongside brilliant colleagues, worshipping with the best church family, sharing space with awesome neighbors, cheering in the stands with some of the most amazing parents, and bonding with the best friends I’ve ever had, our family bids the most sincere, heartfelt and tearful “See ya Later, Alligator.”

Our journey takes us to Arizona, where my son will attend Grand Canyon University to pursue a degree in electrical engineering and technology, my husband will transfer his same job but greatly reduce his commute, my daughter will complete her final years at a pretty great neighborhood high school in our area, and I will pursue some new adventures as well.

We have been preparing for this departure, understanding that it would be difficult, but not processing just how much. We have truly made the most amazing relationships and memories throughout this phase of our journey. We were even fortunate enough to live in our own little slice of heaven the past four years, fully equipped with amazing friends, schools, and landscape. Leaving may have been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.

Thankfully, the first leg of our transition has been a success. We have been in Arizona for a little over a week now. Of course it wouldn’t be true Harper fashion if we didn’t make it an adventure.😊 We broke up the 30-hour drive into a few days with hopes that the beautiful scenery and the promise for the future would outshine our feelings of sadness and exhaustion from packing, loading and moving. Though we are not all the way settled, we are on our way. We are looking forward to building, growing, living, loving and adventuring in the great Valley of the Sun.

As time moves on and my heart heals from being away from the beautiful people and way of life I have come to love, I hope to take on the spirit of my amazing niece. I know I will see my friends again. I know I will talk to them and exchange on social media. I know we will share holiday messages and celebrate all the growth and great things that are to come. I know this is not the end. So with that, I send the biggest virtual hug ever given, and instead of goodbye, I will simply say, “see ya’ later, Alligator!” Here’s to exciting adventures on this leg of your and our amazing journey… I LOVE YOU. 😘😘😘

BEYOND THE LABELS…

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 20 Comments

Black, white, doctor, Christian, teacher, stay-at-home-mom, parent, honor-student etc.… These are all labels at which we can be identified. They are titles we wear with honor like a badge for all to know who we are, where we’re from, and what we’ve accomplished. They are a major source of pride at which we may have spent years of time, money and labor to attain and require a certain level of respect from people to address us as we live by the standards of the weight they carry.

What about the labels that are not so honorable? The titles we have been assigned. The tags that carry a negative connotation and sometimes even stifle our ability to thrive. Single-mom, at-risk youth, divorce’, overweight, retarded, hot-tempered, emotional, 3rd string, nerd, dead-beat dad, naïve, etc.…

From an early age, our children run the risk of being tagged with various labels that can define the way others see them and more importantly, how they see themselves. They can be given by teachers, peers, mentors, coaches and even us as parents.

When my son was three years old, we noticed he was not meeting the typical developmental milestones for children in his age group. He wasn’t talking, making eye contact, showing signs of expression or interactive response.  Doctors and school officials performed several tests to further investigate these concerns. Thereafter, they diagnosed him with autism. And there it was, my son had been labeled. The experts in the field, used professional, fact-based information to determine that he was socially/developmentally “disabled.”

My husband and I were devastated to receive this news.  We were so young. So new to parenthood. We were clueless. The only word we heard was “disability.” The depth of that term left so many uncertainties and filled my imagination with limitations to abound. After grieving for a few days, feeling sorry for myself, and researching aimlessly on how to solve this problem, I prayed. And then, believe it or not, I LISTENED. I heard the Lord tell me so clearly, that He was the God of possibility. That in Him, we are ABLE to do ALL things. So if the Word was true, the term “DISABILITY” was contrary to His Word.

I picked myself up and decided that I was going to turn my brain off on this matter and be led by the Holy Spirit on EXACTLY what my son needed in order to prosper in every area of his life. I must say, this journey has been one of the greatest, yet toughest of my life. However, I am a teacher. I am a Christian. I LOVE children. My husband and I were well equipped for the road ahead and we took it step by step.  We were not going to let the label given by the doctors trump the label given by the Word of God.

For the last several years our family took each stage of this process day by day. Every step was completely new to us. Every challenge required a custom plan that I couldn’t find in a book, online, or from friends. I completely surrendered to the Holy Spirit. For an example, there was a season when my son would cry over everything. Each day there would be an instance at school or at home that seemed very feasible, but for some reason it was overwhelming for him. Now my natural response would have been, “suck it up. You are a big boy! You can’t be crying over this little stuff!” However, that would have broken him. Nevertheless, I still couldn’t allow him to let his emotions govern his behavior. The Lord simply gave us positive incentives for him to work toward in order to stop crying. Sounds super easy, and IT WAS. GRACE. He stopped crying and hasn’t had a problem since.

Of course, over the years, my son has battled many other struggles throughout his developmental journey, such as staying focused in class, managing time properly, playing well with other kids, using language appropriately, articulating his thoughts accurately, participating in group activities, building confidence and so many others. Most of them didn’t come with a two-week solution. Many of these challenges took YEARS to conquer and some of them required extreme decisions in order to ensure his success.

When homework and daily routines became a bit overwhelming, I stepped away from a 15-year career in order to be at home. We downsized our living expenses and even moved to a smaller home in a rural area in order to meet the growing needs of our family. And as always, we saw God’s hand throughout the entire process. We had all the tools, and resources; we knew the places to be and times to be there. He blessed us with amazing teachers, pastors, friends, coaches, classmates and role models to help aid and support us throughout our experience.  This was certainly a team effort. And whilst we had great individuals involved in our mission, we never made his diagnosis public. We never gave explanations, concessions or excuses for his performance or behavior. As a matter of fact, we never even muttered the word autism in his presence. He had NO clue. We simply assessed his abilities and held him to the standard of excellence. If you can be great, BE GREAT. If you can’t be great, let’s do whatever we can to help you be YOUR greatest.  

Cole’s diagnosis was given when he was 3 years old. Last week he turned 18. And last month he walked across the stage to receive his diploma. In that moment, on the football field of a school in North Georgia, my closest family and I held a sign with the words “GO COLE” in HUGE capital letters. He sat in the front row in the top 10% of his class. He wore a sash around his neck that said, “HONOR GRADUATE,” along with a gold cord for his involvement in the National Honor Society and a purple one for the National Technical Honor Society. Earlier that week, he was given several awards along with $40,000 in local and national scholarships. Two weeks before that, he was named Prom King of his high school, earlier that year he was named Most Valuable Runner of his cross-country team and set 2 new school records for his times in the 1600- and 3200-meter run. He founded the chess club, was active in FCA, TSA, academic club, and volunteered to run the live broadcast of the boys’ and girls’ basketball games. He started his freshmen year with few friends, little to no involvement, while struggling to keep up socially, academically, and certainly athletically. By his senior year, he had grown the respect and admiration from so many. They simply loved him to greatness.

During his journey, no one had a CLUE of the tremendous effort it took for him to reach his goals.  The extra hours it took to complete his homework assignments, the weekend/off season practices he devoted to or the level of commitment it took for him to stay on top. He quietly pressed his way…

In February of this year, after two weeks for testing and meeting with several school and state officials, Cole’s autism diagnosis was reversed. Teachers and staff members were thrilled for him and all the progress he made over the 15 years of his journey. Shortly after that meeting, we carefully revealed to Cole of the label he was given early in his life. He was so shocked. So proud. So grateful. We reflected for HOURS, making sense of all the various steps we had taken, and all the beautiful people who were so helpful throughout.

In the fall, Cole will attend Grand Canyon University, in Phoenix, Arizona. There, he will study Electrical Engineering and Technology. We are beyond grateful for the first part of his incredible journey and how God used him to defy the labels given to him early on and replaced them with ones that carry great honor. I cannot wait to see what is in store for his bright future.

As we all endeavor to establish our identity, as we go on our own growth and developmental adventures, take on many different roles, hats and labels, I pray that we will BOLDY seek out the labels given to us by our Heavenly Father. I pray that if you or your loved one has been assigned a label, description, prescription, diagnosis, or title that doesn’t line up with what you know is true,  I dare you to push past the limitations of that label given to you (even by the experts in the field).  That you fight the good, and sometimes seemingly long fight of faith. And that you run your BEST race… not to the best of YOUR ability, but to the best of HIS ability!!!!! That tag doesn’t have to be a life sentence. YOU WERE BORN TO WIN!!!!! †

Forgiving Mom…

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 7 Comments

I recently had the honor of speaking at a Women’s Day event at a church in my area. There, in front of a few hundred amazing ladies, I was able to share my testimony and some of the amazing ways God has been so faithful in my life. It was a great time of fellowship, celebration, food, fun and most of all, love. At the conclusion of the event, I was able to exchange with some of the ladies one on one. They opened up and shared some of their testimonies with me. They noted many of the commonalities we had in our stories. One topic that kept coming up in my discussions was the many women affected by “mom hurt.” What is mom hurt, you say? It is the hurt many encounter during a painful childhood, mostly due to a difficult experience with their mom.

As we approach Mother’s Day, I’d like to address this issue head on. I realize it is a REAL pain. Though many women have had a wonderful relationship with their mother; she was supportive, caring, loving etc. SO many women/men have experienced the opposite. Perhaps their mom wasn’t around. She abandoned them during their childhood. She put them second to a career, addiction, boyfriends etc. Whatever the case, she did not perform her duties/responsibilities to THEIR standards. And of course, THOSE standards are the “normal,” reasonable expectations that should come very naturally to ANY mother. I GET IT!

But what if those typical/normal/reasonable standards DIDN’T come naturally to her? What if she TRULY did the BEST she knew during that time? What if, she was completely consumed with immaturity, selfishness, greed, etc.??? What if she was only doing what was done to her? What if the pain she inflicted on her children was not intentional? And even still, what if she DID know how badly she was behaving, but did it anyway? That HORRIBLE mom is not worthy of love, honor, respect, or ESPECIALLY forgiveness. I mean, LOOK AT ALL THE PAIN SHE CAUSED!!!!

I can TOTALLY relate to these feelings. My mother-daughter childhood experience was interrupted by some of the very things I mentioned earlier; like addiction, neglect, abuse and abandonment, and it had some MAJORLY devastating impacts on my life. However, a wise person once told me, you can’t expect someone to give you what they don’t have. It is like walking up to a friend and asking them for $1,000, but all they have is $400. Because it seems NORMAL for us all to have $1000 on hand, does it give us a pass to lay in perpetual bitterness? Gloom? Doom? If they only have $400? “I mean, if they had $1000 to give me, I would be SOOOO much better off.” “What in the world can I POSSIBLY do with only $400????” “I NEED ALL $1000!!!!!!”

Many people today have suffered YEARS of pain, frustration, bitterness and unforgiveness because a mom did not live up to the expectation she was charged to fulfill. Though this can have a major impact on the life and welfare of children, it does not give ANYONE a license for a lifetime of unforgiveness.  As we grow older, we can find healing and ways to repair the brokenness caused by a negligent mother. When we accept a relationship with Christ, He can fill the holes and suffering left from our painful encounters. He can and will send replacements for the loneliness and sense of abandonment, to where the absence of a loving mother will seem insignificant. However, we block His hand when we choose to hold on to feelings of resentment, revenge, anger and bitterness.

If we simply consider the scripture, we have no choice but to forgive our mom. “You have NO idea what my mom did to me!!!” You say. Though I have not been in your situation, I DO understand how you feel. As children, our moms take up the greatest real estate in our heart. They are the givers of life. They are supposed to love us like no other. They are supposed to cherish us and sacrifice their very life so that we become all God has called us to be. I DO UNDERSTAND THAT. However, we are called to honor our parents. We are called to walk in love, even when that person has hurt us deeply.

After YEARS of a strained relationship, my mother and I are restoring a beautiful bond. It has not been easy, but true love and forgiveness has guided our hearts to mend and repair what was once broken. I am so grateful my kids get to see my mother at her BEST. That I get to enjoy a renewed exchange while we are both mature, healthy, and whole. That we get to share this beautiful time together free of residue or expectation.

The relationship between a mother and child is paramount. There is nothing like it. When it is damaged, it can hurt like no other. And though it can cause some major scars, God is the ultimate plastic surgeon. It is nothing that can’t be repaired.  Surely, you may never be best friends, go over each other’s house every day, or even do the things you once did. Nevertheless, I pray you get your heart to a place of forgiveness. Where your current day or future success and happiness are not hindered by hate or anger. Where you are not plagued by the expectations that weren’t met in your life. That you no longer hold her accountable for unpleasant outcomes you endured. And that you release her from the bondage of your grief. Instead, may you seek love freely given by the greatest healer. May you let HIM heal your wounds and fill your heart with the greatest love of all. And may you go on to Mother from a place of grace and peace, because no person, encounter or thing has the power to stop you from enjoying every drip drop of your amazing journey!!! BLESSINGS TO YOU!!! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!

It’s Time, Girl, For GIRL TIME!!!

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 4 Comments

Hey you… Super Girl! Yeah, YOU!!! I know you are busy out there getting er’ done, rockin’ out like the BOSS that you are. On top of ALL the things you do every day, you are also going to church, working out, reading and serving, and doing all the things to help keep your awesome self, awesome. However, I have yet ANOTHER way to help extend the life of your awesomeness…You already know what it is, GOOD OLD GIRL TIME!!!!! YEEEESSSSSSS MA’AM!!!!

I don’t know about you, but I am fortunate enough to have been surrounded by amazing gals my entire life. Whether in high school, college, during my career, at church and even as a stay at home mom, I have been blessed with some GREAT girlfriends! Though life can get super busy and seasons change, friends move away, the benefit of time with friends never changes.

I’m not talking about any old gals. I’m not talking about getting together to gossip. To compare titles and status.  I’m talking about those equally-yoked friends. Those ones that challenge you to be great. Ones that celebrate with you. Ones that can pray for you in times of need and talk you off the cliff. Ones that will come to your baby shower and share their parenting experiences for extra support. And YES, ones you can, eat, shop and enjoy life with.

As we get older, our schedules and calendars are bombarded with so many tasks. We wear so many hats and are responsible for so much. Of course, the grace of God is sufficient to get it all done in excellence. But sometimes, we don’t allow time in our schedule to breathe. Our lives are out of balance. We don’t make time for ourselves and we don’t make time for our friends. Sometimes we even go into an isolation phase, where girlfriends or anything else becomes yet another item to check off. I GET IT!!!!! However, we were created for fellowship. Sometimes a couple hours with some amazing gals, is just what we need for some rejuvenation, redirection, recharging and some REAL laughs out loud!

For the last few months I have been intentional about making time for the beautiful women God has blessed me to know. I know they are not in my life by accident and we don’t even talk every day. But whether enjoying a girls’ night out, brunch, shopping, dinner and movie, massages, vision parties, morning walks, or even road trips, my life would not be as rich without them and our amazing time together. They inspire me. They push me past my comfort zones. They celebrate me and love me right where I am and I am better because of it.

I also realize my friends are not here to just benefit me. I am careful to bring my supply to my crew as well. Whether an encouraging text, a kind gift or gesture, a thoughtful act, a love exchange or time together, my girls know I got their back and am here for them too. Sometimes we can underestimate our role in a friend’s life. We think they seem to have it all together and don’t need us. Quite the contrary, there are gifts, talents, knowledge, wisdom, experience and other goodies we have that add so much value to the lives of people in our circle.

Anyone that knows me, knows I LOOOOVE my kids. I make time for my husband, take care of our home and maintain a busy schedule. However, over the years, I am FULLY aware of how rich my life is with the women God has strategically placed in my path. They add SO much color to my life. Our time together is so valuable to me. I look forward to it and am so replenished after each encounter. I pray that you cultivate relationships with gals that brighten your life. That you know how much your light brightens theirs and that you allow those relationships to add amazing experiences to your awesome journey.

I meet with these AWESOME gals every month (ish) 🙂 for dinner and great times. We all “Mom So Hard” yet make time to get together for some much needed girl time… I am so grateful they all live close by. They are SUCH a blessing to me!!!!

This awesome gal and I have been friends for 10+ years. We used to teach together, but since I have retired, we are sure to meet monthly for girl time, brunch, shopping, movies, family celebrations and even road trips. She makes EVERYTHING a BLAST!!!

I don’t get to see these awesome ladies often, so when we are all in town together, we are sure to connect for great fellowship. We love and laugh and share our dreams and hold each other accountable. They are such an inspiration to me…

I was recently able to enjoy another great day with this awesome gal!!! Though she is younger than me, we are able to share our experiences and celebrate the various milestones on our journey. She is a major talent on the rise. I love sharing adventures with her…

At the beginning of the year, I enjoyed a vision board slumber party with these amazing gals from my church. It was a great time of food, fellowship, shopping, movies, girl talk, and creating and sharing vision boards. Though we see each other in church, we also celebrate on holidays and other major dates. I love doing life with these gals…

An AMAZING friend, whom I’ve loved and admired for 20+ years came down for a weekend. We enjoyed great conversation, eating, shopping, massages and just unfiltered time together. We don’t get to see each other often, but when we do, it is so refreshing. We had a BLAST and I look forward to another getaway soon!!!!

A Healthy Balance of Work and Family…

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My grandparents raised me for some of my childhood. I remember my grandmother picking us up from school each day. I remember my grandfather coming home from work by 5pm and my grandmother having a hot meal on the table by 6pm. There we discussed all that happened throughout our day. Most nights we even had dessert. After cleaning the kitchen, we all gathered together for some sort of evening activity such as playing cards, fishing, putting a puzzle together, etc. followed by watching Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and the 8:00pm show for the night before going to bed.

Those were the good old days so to speak. What the heck happened? Somewhere along the past few decades that modest yet loving lifestyle has gotten lost in translation. It has been overridden by the desire for more. The fulfillment of family time has been traded for the demands of the workplace and the need to stay busy. The respect and admiration once given to a homemaker/stay-at-home-mom, has gone to the one who can seemingly juggle the most. The excitement of the child standing at the door waiting to greet their parent after work, is replaced with a kiss on the cheek during their night’s sleep. While the love, time, energy and devotion once given to a marriage is exchanged for idle time on social media, shopping and glasses of wine to fulfill a missing void only a spouse can satisfy.

The problem with this is we have sacrificed the sanctity of our family. We tell our children and our spouse each day where they rank in our lives based on where they fall on our priority list.  We convince ourselves that our family comes first, yet they understand full well that they are among the last. Most of our world revolves around the demands of our jobs and our household gets what is left over. Perhaps we only work 8-10 hours a day, but we drive an hour each way. Once we arrive home, we have our phones and laptops attached to our hip like a doctor on call. And we devote an entire room for our at-home office in order to accommodate the after hour requests.

Now that everyone in the house has a place of obligation, each morning is filled with the family’s individual race to their day’s destination. Peace is maintained as long as neither party oversteps their lane into the other’s. There is time for work, school, and perhaps an athletic activity to occupy each day’s agenda, off to bed and then repeat…

I believe most parents and spouses have good intentions. You will hear the frequent reflection, “I just want to give my family the life I never had.” I appreciate that effort. However, what was so bad about living in a 3-bedroom 1-bathroom house? What was so bad about homecooked meals? What was so bad about hand-me-downs and DIY projects for the family? If it means more time with YOU? I know the comforts of life cost money. I understand raising kids is a huge expense, and the price of living requires us to work for sure. But judging by the value of our cars, size of our houses, brands of our clothing, updates on our gadgets, I’d say it’s looking a bit more like selfish ambition vs. the desire to provide.

I hope everyone fulfills their desires. I hope we advance in our careers, pursue higher level degrees, start businesses, all that. But I pray it is not at the expense of our families. It was not easy on my ego to step away from a teaching career I loved dearly. I worked so hard to earn that master’s degree and was doing very well in my journey. But when the demands of the career interfered with the increasing requirements of my family, I had to shut it down. Sure, it has been a MAJOR sacrifice. Especially financially. But I realized I had to prioritize my assignment as a wife and mother. It had to come first. Here I am 5 years later, it has been one of the best decisions of my life.

After almost 20 years of marriage and raising 2 children, I would say there were two main decisions we made early on that helped preserve the balance of home and work life:

  1. We built our budget and livelihood on one salary. Though every force in our world told us to borrow and spend the max, we only used my husband’s salary as a base for our purchases.  This decision gave us the wiggle room to make financial adjustments for our family when necessary. It protected us during times of recession when companies decided to make major cuts in salaries, raises and health care. It made it much easier to step away from my teaching job when the demands of our family increased. Though it meant a smaller house than what we could have gotten, we didn’t miss a beat and it proved to be a MAJOR benefit for us all.
  2. Protect “peak time.” Most kids are in school for about 7 hours each day. From the time they get home from school until they go to bed is peak time. Weekends are included in this. As for us, we make sure we are present during their peak time. I put away my phone and give them my undivided love and attention. I show them they are my priority. Similarly to the time I found so sacred with my grandparents, we eat together each night, we discuss the events of our day, and we spend quality time engaging in activities we all can enjoy. It has proven to help maintain the sanctity of our union and helps us all keep things in perspective.

Whether we choose to work full-time or part-time; whether we are a stay-at-home parent, or even a single parent, we have to maintain the preeminence of our family.  They have to know they come FIRST in our lives. We communicate this each day by the decisions we make to secure their seat in our agenda. I love all the women’s empowerment movements. I celebrate the advancements in career and education. I even understand the idea of providing the best life we can for our children. However, we have to acknowledge that the “best life” for our children and spouse is a balanced life. One where they are safe and secure. One where they can learn and grow and feel loved and celebrated. One where honor and respect abound, and priorities are intact. When our families are healthy and whole, the need for gadgets, high-ticket items, approval from others diminish. They are secure in the love that is cultivated in the home and will go out and do amazing things in their journey. I pray you cultivate a healthy balance between work and home and that you are intentional about making the necessary adjustments to not only saying your family comes first but showing them that they do. Blessings to you. 😊

SEASONS CHANGE…

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By now, we are all ready for Spring to hurry up and grace us with her presence. We’ve enjoyed our dose of snow and cool boots and sweet scarves. It is time for some sun shining, birds chirping and buds blooming. Interestingly, we all forget how we embraced the idea of November and December and Christmas and snow and holidays and family gatherings and all the great things that make winter a beautiful wonderland of sorts. We are now filled with the hopes of what a new season will bring. Nevertheless, by the time summer rolls around, temperatures rise to 90+ degrees, we will once again find ourselves crying the blues and looking ahead to what’s next.

How often do we have these same reflections in our daily lives? While single, we can’t WAIT for God to bless us with the perfect partner to share our lives with. We are thrilled about the new promotion we just got. We celebrate the monumental experience of buying our first home. And can’t even contain the joy of our first child. However, as the days go on, the tasks pile up, or even boredom sets in, we find ourselves looking forward to what’s next.

I certainly understand and subscribe to the idea of moving forward.  The future forecast always seems to bring about hope and growth and newness. However, where do these hopes of promise leave us in our current season? How do we not grow stale? Bored? Frustrated with the “right now”? How can we maintain our contentment and appreciation while we wait on the next season?

I remember when I was pregnant with my first child. I was SOOOO happy at the thought of carrying a life inside me. How miraculous!!! As time went on, I got bigger, well let’s say, HUGER and HUGER and tired and grumpy and when I tell you I couldn’t WAIT to deliver the baby… I COULDN’T WAIT!!! Speed along to his arrival, I was ELATED!!!! OMG!!! Happiest days of my life, right? OF COURSE. Then the real work began. The real commitment. I soon looked forward to toddler time… at least then he could walk and talk and do things on his own, right? UUUUGGGGHHH. That season brought about a whole new slew of challenges. Speed this along 17 years… As I sit here and consider that this same child is now a senior in high school, that he will be graduating in a few short months, and moving onto college to start a life of independence… What I wouldn’t give to see him walking around with drool running from his mouth, hobbling in his overalls with a saggy diaper…

Moral of the story is that as we look to brighter days and new seasons, whatever season of life we are in, good or bad, we have to know that the season WILL change, that things get better, that tough times don’t last always, that people grow, that increase will come, and spring is indeed on the way! We must know that every single day and every moment of our journey, good or bad is one to embrace, learn, and grow from, but most importantly, to enjoy.

This may be tough because some of us reading this right now are in the hardest of winters. Perhaps you are enduring a season of illness, a tough marriage, a financial hardship, a job you don’t like. I get it. However, you have to dig deep, and for some of us REAL DEEP, to see the lesson, the beauty, the growth and opportunities that lie in the moments of this part of our journey. How can we get better here? What tools will I gather for my next season? What can I do to enjoy this season right where I am?

As we look on with great expectation to the next chapter, it is so important that we not just endure this undesirable time in our life. We can’t fill our mind with thoughts of stress, depression, doubt, boredom, and gloom. Life is about seasons. While every day won’t be one on the mountain top, we can do our best to maintain a mountaintop outlook. We can see the beauty in the moment and focus on the good times we have. We can learn and grow during these seasons, so we can carry our new insight into our next season and share with others. If we are too busy focusing on the spring, we can miss out on the beauty of winter we were so excited about in the beginning. If you are single and desperately waiting to get married, ENJOY your freedom and not having to cater to or be responsible for another human. If you are a stay at home mom looking forward to getting back to work, though it is a challenging right now, ENJOY not having to get up every day and report to an office. If you are living in a tiny apartment and can’t wait to get your first home, ENJOY not cutting grass or having to heat such a large area. Or a new graduate, eager to start your first job, ENJOY not having to pay student loans and living with your parents during this last stretch of time…

As I look forward to my son graduating from high school, I realize these days won’t be here for long. I can only imagine how much I would miss if I wasn’t intentional about making every moment of this season count. While I am driving him to yet another senior obligation, early morning SAT exam, academic banquet, athletic event, I am careful to embrace the beauty of our time together. As you go about your season, I pray you can squeeze out moments that make you smile. Times to help you grow. Lessons you can take into your next season. That while you look forward to the what’s to come, you enjoy every drip drop of the portion of the journey you are on right now. This season will not last forever. Enjoy it while it’s here! Spring is on the way… 😊 🙂 🙂

OUR VEGAN(ish) LIFE: The How’s, Why’s and What’s of Our Decision to Live a Vegan Lifestyle…

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So, if you know me, you know that for a few years now, my family and I have committed to a vegan-ish lifestyle. I say “vegan-ish” because, we are not ALL the way vegan. As a matter of fact, I don’t even like the label itself as it is very specified and leaves little room for variation. Nonetheless, we often lean on this title as it is the closest to describing our eating habits. Interestingly enough, I find more and more when I explain to people that we are a vegan, it elicits a host of questions and even frustrations that ultimately lead to confusion. And for this reason, I am writing about our journey as veganists. 😊

What: What is your practice? Overall, my husband, two teenagers and I eat as clean, natural and healthy as possible. That means we see food as medicine, or nutrition our body needs to perform the many tasks we all do. Though we love our food to taste good, (and we see to it that it does 😊) we try to view food as source of fuel vs. a substance of pleasure. Therefore, the things we eat are generally fresh, whole (unprocessed/unrefined), natural, locally grown (when possible) and mostly plant based.

Why: Why have you chosen a vegan(ish) lifestyle? Though there are many diets and eating trends people currently follow, our decision was not based on a fad, weight-loss goal, or even illness. Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I have been healthy eaters and have always benefited from that way of life. However, over time, we noticed the increasing level of negative news regarding the unnatural processing of the animals we generally consumed, their poor treatment and the affects it was having on our country. After extensive prayer and research, we further investigated our concerns and concluded that our family could live without the consumption of animal products. We discussed it together and decided to move forward with our decision to eat what we call, a whole food, plant-based diet.

How: How have you maintained this lifestyle? As a homemaker one of my major responsibilities has been preparing meals that nourish our family as well as teaching our children how to make healthy choices. This decision required a ton of research. We have all come to lean on the nutrients provided in meat and dairy, such as protein, iron, zinc and magnesium. It was important that I included substitutions and even additions for some of the vitamins and minerals they would not consume while eating a plant-based diet.  I have been careful in the planning of meals and snacks to ensure we are not just checking off a box that says we don’t eat meat, but that we are intentional about providing sources of true nutrition to sustain overall health and wellness. We create a menu each week and grocery shop to prepare those specific meals accordingly.

What don’t you eat? We generally don’t consume foods made by animals, including meat, eggs, or dairy products. We don’t eat fast or highly processed foods. We don’t use the microwave or eat pre-cooked foods or dairy/meat substitutes. As a rule of thumb, we try to assess the origin of the food and determine if it came from the ground or if it was made in a factory. Can we recognize or even pronounce the main ingredients? If not, we generally do not eat it. Though this seems to be strict criteria, we have found that it works for US. Our decision comes with no judgement or sanctimony, only a measuring tool for maintaining our goals.

What do you eat? Many people assume vegans eat celery and lettuce for breakfast and run around all day feeling weak and depleted. On the contrary, like most people, we eat 3 meals per day and snacks throughout.

A typical breakfast in our house could be steel-cut oatmeal, stone-ground grits, avocado/cinnamon/garlic toast, fruit/veggie smoothies, buckwheat pancakes, fried potatoes and even an all-natural cereal with almond milk.

Lunch for my husband is generally leftovers from the prior night’s dinner, but for my kids, they pack a lunch that consists of an entrée, fruit, vegetable, starchy snack and desert item. Which generally means a pb&j sandwich, peanuts/almonds, carrots, raisins, avocados, apples, oranges, grapes, chips/pretzels, granola bars, cookies, dark chocolate, popcorn etc.

Dinner changes all the time. Vegetables are the main staple and we generally form each entrée around a large variety of them including veggie soup, chili, sushi, burritos, pizza, tacos, pastas etc. We eat from a large selection of beans as well and use them as a great source of protein, iron and fiber. Many times, we have beans and rice coupled with collard greens or some other main vegetable. We also enjoy various salads and sometimes a simple loaded baked potato.

Why do you say vegan “ish” instead of vegan? Most true vegans do not use animal products at all. They don’t even wear leather. That is not us. The greatest part of the “ish” in my description comes from the fact that we do include a small amount of fish in our diet a couple times a month. We try to buy local or at least wild-caught fish when possible, but this decision allows for a bit of balance for us all. However, we are strongly opposed to the harmful/unethical treatment of animals and do not support any form of it.

Do you eat out? Of course. At least once a week, we either get take-out or dine at a restaurant. You would be surprised how many establishments cater to vegan/vegetarian diets. We especially enjoy Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Mexican, even Indian and Vietnamese restaurants. They tend to provide vegetable rich options and use herbs and spices as a means to add flavor. However, I can generally find acceptable meal selections at typical mainstream establishments like Chipotle, Cheesecake Factory, and the like.

Effects: How has a vegan(ish) lifestyle impacted your life? First of all, though it wasn’t the goal, I personally lost 25+lbs immediately, while my husband and children maintain a healthy weight overall. We have not missed a day of work or school due to sickness. We have energy and stamina to maintain a very active lifestyle. Both my kids are in year-round sports, while my husband and I are avid hikers and enjoy outdoor activities on a regular basis. I have experienced a major balance in my hormones and have overcome challenges with acne, thinning hair, migraine headaches and other nutritional/hormonal imbalance related issues. Overall, I feel full of energy and my body and mind are strong and alive.

I am fully aware of the various diets and trends many follow today. For some, veganism is just that. I am careful never to push our beliefs on anyone or look down on people for the choices they make for themselves or their family. I fully believe we have to be led and must do what works BEST for us individually. However, it is so important that we do our diligence when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Many of the methods of production of the products we consume are unclean and unethical.  It is up to us to make informed and sometimes uncomfortable choices that will benefit us for the long haul. God has called us all to do amazing things in this life. I am prayerful that though many of the producers continue to create harmful food options, that other ethical farmers and producers will continue to create ways to grow and sell foods that give life and wellness so that we may enjoy a long, healthy, happy, amazing journey… 0000000





Cover photo cred: greenermums

NO RECEPTION…

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If you are anywhere near my age, you remember, or at least have heard of a day when after a certain time of night, the TV screen turned dark and was covered with various colored lines… when all the streets were still, the stores were closed… When dinner was served sometime around 6pm and after about 10pm, there was nothing left to do but sleep…
I’m not quite sure when exactly it began, but somewhere along the timeline in the last few years, stores and restaurants began staying open until 10/11pm, TV and all other forms of media stayed on all night and cellphones allowed people a 24-hour all access pass to anything and anyone… WOW!!!! Times have surely changed. Seems like a total maximization of 24 hours!!!! Sounds AMAZING right????
Last month, I celebrated my 42nd birthday (HEEEEEEEEEY!!!! 😊). Because it falls on the Christmas holiday, my family and I were on our Christmas family vacation in Phoenix. What a BEAUTIFUL place, during an AMAZING time of year, with my FAVORITE people on the planet!!! We had a wonderful time together. However, my birthday was EXTRA SPECIAL. My husband took me to the Grand Canyon. And though we had lived in Arizona a few years back, I had never been. I guess I just never had the desire to see a giant hole in the earth?????? Nevertheless, we grabbed our coats, put on our sweats and hiking shoes and made the 3 ½ hour drive to Flagstaff.
The ride itself was BEAUTIFUL!!! But I must say, when I arrived at the Canyon, I WAS SPEECHLESS. The sight of it literally took my breath away. I was overcome by awe and cried instantly. What an unbelievable wonder to behold!!! Every step I took allowed for a different view of this monument of gloriousness!!! But what was equally as amazing as the sight, was the nothingness that happened during our time there…
It was EVERYTHING!!!! My husband and I did what we do often in our moments like these. We vision casted. We reflected. We reminisced. We laughed. We held hands. We talked. And talked. We were present in every moment together and we weren’t distracted by calls or text messages or agendas or requests or social media or ANYTHING!!!! It was MAGICAL!!!
I find that though I am present and active as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, volunteer, mentor etc. I have to be intentional about making time to go “offline.” This time that my husband and I spent was SO necessary. It was a perfect time to reflect on all that happened in 2018 and our goals and dreams for 2019. It was great to laugh at our mistakes yet reflect on God’s goodness. There were even moments of silence, when we just inhaled and rested in bliss.
I could go on and on about my short time at the Canyon a few days ago. It was truly one of the best days of my life. However, I have to be honest, after 42 years of life, I have come to understand how necessary these experiences are. I, on purpose, make plans to regularly dwell in places where I have no reception. If only for a couple hours a week or even for an hour a day, I retreat. I unplug. I “out of office.” Of course, it is not always at the amazing Grand Canyon, but perhaps on other hikes, or baths, or quiet drives, or star gazes, or the library or lake or whatever. I find it so therapeutic to take time to turn off the noise. To cancel the “all access pass” for a little while.
This year, I will be even more intentional about insuring a bit of quiet time. Though our days have been filled with what seems to be maximum productivity, we need to unwind. To unplug. To turn it off. I am SO much more productive when I get that period of peace. I hear God’s voice SO clearly. I am less agitated and so much more creative. I pray that while you are out conquering all the amazing adventures put before you, that you take time to exhale. That you embrace moments of beauty, rest and solitude. That you take time to dwell in places with no reception. During these moments, may your peace, joy and love be renewed and restored… HAPPY 2019 TO YOU!!!!


A Different Take on Giving This Christmas…

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Ok. Before I get started, let me tell you what this is NOT. This is not some amazing philanthropic endeavor, or way to feed 10,000 families in a starving land. Honestly, I wish I was sharing that kind of news, but this is a much simpler idea I’d like to share to help spread the art of giving right in the four walls of your own home.

If your family is like mine, Christmas goes a little something like this: Mom pays careful attention to amazing details of her children. She has listened and taken stock of the desires of her family’s heart for the last 2-6 months. By the time the holidays roll around, she has an amazing list of all the great things she plans to buy. She then tells the hubby, who nods in appreciation and acceptance of these great ideas and after her thoughtful hunt and purchase, she then finds great wrapping paper, stockings and gift bags to present these lovely trinkets on Christmas day. Meanwhile, the kids are ESTATIC with anticipation for yet another joyful season of GETTING!!!! Christmas Day rolls around and Mom sits back and watches her successful gathering session pay off with excitement and happiness for a day where each member of the family feels like someone took the time to consider EXACTLY what THEY wanted, and made those wishes come true. Some amazing moms even yield the credit to a big man in a red suit as the benefactor of this great extravaganza… 🎅🏼🎅🏼🎅🏼

WELL… after watching that scene for the last 17 years, our family has agreed to switch things up a bit. First of all, I have really been into the idea of enjoying experiences vs. THINGS. As I get older, I have come to realize how short-lived the happiness of obtaining items can really be. It is a plight that sends many into debt and even depression after realizing once you get “IT”, there is always a desire for MORE… “IT” is never enough…  and “IT” never gives the lasting high created by memories or experiences that leave a lasting impression, a lifelong memory or moments for reflection and growth. Over the years, I have come to replace high ticket items, technology, and great trinkets, with opportunities of adventure and togetherness.

While our family will take another trip this holiday season, we will still attempt to give them the “gift under the tree” experience, but this year it will be with a bit of a twist. This year we have set a spending budget of $400. Each member of our family will pull a name from our family of four. They will keep that name a secret. For the next several days THEY will conduct research on their person. They will study them. Listen to them. Consider the desires of their heart. On December 15th, we will wake up early and venture out to the mall. Each family member will get $100 in cash. They will then be responsible for searching for great gifts for their selected family member. As the mom, I will be on hand for advice or guidance if necessary, but it is up to them to make this a memorable experience for their person to enjoy on Christmas day.

I love this idea because it does several things:

  1. It allows EVERY member of the family to appreciate the art of GIVING as well as receiving. I SOOOO love to give. Though our family is a family of givers, I hope our children will see how great the entire giving experience is and make it a part of everyday life.
  2. It helps everyone appreciate and understand the importance of a budget. Though we would LOVE to give a lot more, we must spend according to what we have. Apple can’t determine that amount, we must. There is no joy in giving when you have to pay for it for the next several months. I love that we can share this experience together. Look for deals! Find the sales… Make that money stretch!
  3. It requires everyone to consider another’s desires over their own. They will have to conduct the necessary research in order to be successful in their experience. Too many times we are so wrapped up in our own wishes, we fail to consider anyone else’s.
  4. It takes the weight off one person producing for everyone. Though I thoroughly enjoy the Christmas hunt, purchase, wrap and presentation session, it is a joy I would like my family to practice as well. Especially as my kids are getting older, it will be imperative for them to learn the art of giving for their current and future relationships.
  5. It is a reminder that we all get things throughout the year… All the time!!! We can’t possibly buy EVERYthing for EVERYbody in one month… (Whoever came up with such an idea??? 🤔🤔🤔 lol!)
  6. It helps highlight the idea that the family trip is our true Christmas present. Our undivided time together and the adventures we will share will supersede any thing we could wrap and place under a tree.

As a country, the secularization of Christmas has created a “get” mentality in many of us. A lot of our giving is out of obligation vs. the genuine desire to share. Many of us go into debt to meet unrealistic expectations and fail to see the true beauty in what this amazing time of year is all about. While we will still decorate the tree and enjoy the lights and holiday music, I am hopeful to help create experiences that spread love, joy, peace and the true beauty of cheerful giving, (within a budget of course) that will help produce memories that last a lifetime. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Here’s to all the wonderful ways you choose to celebrate God’s love this holiday season! 😊😊😊😊😘😘😘

Photo: Bplans

OFF THE WALL…

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 2 Comments

When I was in 6th grade, I remember our middle school having a big dance. Though it was held in our gymnasium, and the teachers were our chaperones, somehow, to us, it was considered a MAJOR event. I knew most of the kids in my grade and even the upper classmen. We had been going to school together since elementary. I was actually considered decently popular (if there is such a thing in 6th grade… 😊) And though the DJ was BLASTING some of that year’s greatest JAMS, it did not stop my tremendous fear of getting on the dance floor. I literally sat there the entire time watching all the kids dance wishing I had the guts to get out there and jam right along with them. Instead, I played it safe, and stayed my butt on the wall the entire night overcome with great envy and fear. I was so disappointed in myself. Over time I matured. I gained a bit of confidence and by the time I was in the 8th grade, I was not only helping to organize the dances, but I had choreographed routines to Bobby Brown and Janet Jackson’s greatest hits in order to show off my dance skills with my friends!!! Lol!

Speed this up to 2018, 30+ years later, recently, I have been listening to Michael Jackson’s awesome hit song, “Off the Wall.” If you get a chance you should check it out. But the lyrics made me remember that 6th grade experience. I wonder how many of us get stuck in that same “wall” rut. We get caught up in our mundane routines of life. At one time they may have seemed thrilling, but as we get up, go to work, take the kids to school, come home, eat, sleep, and then repeat… we find ourselves slipping into a bit of boredom and even despair. We are frustrated with the monotony, but don’t really know any other way. The kids HAVE to go to practice. We HAVE to work, do laundry, cook, clean, etc… and it becomes too easy to lean up against that wall and watch everyone else enjoying themselves. Because, for us, the thrill is gone…Yep. I get it.

HOWEVER. There is SO much more to life than a job. Than taking kids back and forth to practice. Than sitting in traffic. Than living that predictable, controlled, mundane life. Life is supposed to be ENJOYED!!! Full of adventure and love and zest and FUN!!!!!! It can seem a bit intimidating to step outside our comfort zones and try new ideas, travel new terrain, explore unfamiliar scenes. I mean, who has time or energy or even money for all that???? But getting off the wall doesn’t mean we have to go do a solo dance routine. Doesn’t mean we have to purchase a tuxedo and meet with a dance instructor or to audition for Julliard…

It could mean getting up and watching the sunrise. Committing to a new hiking destination once a month. Making a dish inspired by various countries all over the world. Road tripping twice a year. Getting that new pixie cut you’ve been too scared to try, renting a convertible for the weekend, buying silver boots to wear to the concert of your favorite band, learning a new language online, saving up to see a new country each year. Renting a pontoon for the family vacay. Taking dance lessons. You get the idea. Whatever the case, YOU GOT TO GET OFF THAT WALL!!!! The safe route is a road that leads to stagnation. Boredom. And Despair. Yes, you have a job. You have to be a responsible adult, spouse, parent, employee, homeowner etc… But we MUST commit to doing things on a REGULAR basis that, though may be uncomfortable, or cost a little money, or require a little planning, force us to get off the wall and enjoy this life.

As it stands right now, I have two teenagers, a husband and a dog. All of them require my time, energy, love and commitment. I am FULLY devoted to them. However, I understand that in order to live a balanced life, in order to be 100% for them, I HAVE TO do things that stimulate my joy, stir up my excitement, put thrill back on the scene. Some of the things I do/have done in the past have been simple, free, inexpensive, or sometimes not so much, but I am committed to doing something carefree and fun at least once a week and if possible once a day!

It is so cliché’ to say life is short, but it is so true. When we leave this beautiful place, we can’t take our jobs, our cars, our houses or clothing with us. It won’t matter what items or titles we’ve acquired. What will matter, are the experiences we enjoyed and how much LIFE we lived and the amazing memories and lessons we gained along the way. We must be intentional about squeezing every drip drop of this awesome journey.

I pray that you don’t get on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter etc… and look at everyone else on the dance floor. That you don’t scroll through their pictures of trips to the ocean, but that right where you are, you make those moments for yourself.  Get so good at living off the wall, you have choreographed dance numbers for every song that is played. You are jammin’ so hard, you inspire others to jam as well… And in the words of the great Michael Jackson, you will be sure to find, “Life ain’t so bad at all… if you live it off the wall!!!!” 😊

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DIY: How to Decorate a Teen Girl’s Room: A Space of Inspiration

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Every child wants a place where they have ownership. A place of belonging. A place that has their distinct signature that says “ME.” It should be a place of freedom, where they can let go of their inhibitions. It should stimulate creativity and inspiration. A place where they can always feel welcomed and celebrated.

As parents, we may not be able to provide this kind of space in their classrooms, on the bus, in the locker room or even at church, but we CAN give them that space in a little corner of their world… their bedroom.

I have 2 teenagers. I recently redecorated their rooms to fit a more age appropriate palate. As they develop and evolve into the awesome young man and woman they will become, I want their décor to reflect some of the attributes I mentioned earlier; to create a place to help make their journey memorable and special for them. I was able to accomplish all of this by applying one simple rule:

CELEBRATE THEM!!! Use colors, materials, signage, posters, fabrics, bedding, rugs, pictures, initials, lights, art, trophies, medals, furniture, and ANYTHING else you can find to honor and inspire THEM!!!! THAT’S IT!!!!! I will share with you just how I did that for my daughter and also my son.

It challenged every level of my creativity to capture the complexities of my teenage daughter’s personality in one setting. (She’s an athlete, yet slightly girly, she’s an old soul, yet slightly trendy, she loves the bible, yet finds inspiration through literature and other figures she admires, etc.) However, it was fun to see it all come together.

For the first time, I didn’t paint the walls. Instead, I went with a Denim and Rustic Meets Pink and Classic theme… WHICH IS SO HER!!!!

I made a garland window treatment out of various pairs of blue jeans, lace, burlap and ribbon as a cool focal point. I did this by simply cutting the fabric and tying it to a hanging twine.

I hung my staple signage over the window to reveal a message specific to her. “BE YOU” seemed applicable so I chose metal and wood letters to drill into an old slab of barn wood.

When I couldn’t find the perfect center piece for the window, I decided to simply hang an old pair of her favorite Converse. Strange perhaps, but SO HER!!!! Under the window, I added a bench from Overstock.com for additional storage and seating and found a couple fun pillows at Ross/TJ Maxx to compliment the space.

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Though there are great teenage chairs out there, I replaced her old polka-dotted bean bag with a classic denim chair I found on sale at the Pottery Barn Outlet, and then I handmade a chunky yarn blanket as an accent to add texture.  I imagined this space being a special spot she could read or enjoy quiet time, so I hung a full-length inspirational canvas tapestry of a quote from Maya Angelou.

To compliment the proportion of her full-size bunk bed, she and I found large letters from Michaels, to spell her name. We bought sample size paint pots of various denim colors and painted and distressed each letter a different shade and added flowers around it for a nice touch.  For her bedding, I chose a simple pink cotton coverlet with lace to allow the pillows and other elements of the room to pop more.

Of course, every teenage gal needs a full-length mirror to create amazing outfits. But of course, I couldn’t let it be just any old space. In a world that constantly tells them they are not good enough, I wanted this space to be special. To add sparkle and shine, I simply used Christmas garland and décor to give this space the pizazz it needed.

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Finally, over her dresser, instead of a TV, I added a large corkboard where she could add pictures, ribbons, awards, reminders or anything of importance to her. Next to the corkboard are shelves to serve a similar purpose. This is HER space. Over time, she can add artifacts that are meaningful to her to showcase her heart. Above the corkboard are paintings from one of our favorite artists, Kelly Rae Roberts. Each piece is a portrait of a beautiful girl with beautiful colors and expressions that coincide with colors and themes I used throughout her room.

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Overall, I was thrilled to see this room come together. Teenagers are very complex. It can be challenging to capture all the beauty of their heart and mind. However, I took my time, and worked hand in hand with her to create depth and breadth that represented the essence of her spirit. When I see her in her special space, it makes my heart happy that we could create a place for her to feel free and comfortable and celebrated and respected and loved. Ideally all this energy will transfer to her heart. It will follow her into the corners of her world and every place she dwells. And she will have a bit more confidence to share that beautiful heart, mind, and spirit with the rest of her world…

Whatever the age, or gender of your child, may you capitalize on their strengths and interests and showcase all the elements that celebrate them. You don’t need a huge budget, just a way to fill their room with everything that makes them sparkle and shine!!! 🙂

Check out my YouTube post for the details of this room design 🙂

DIY: How to Decorate a Teen Boy’s Bedroom: A Space of Inspiration

Enjoying the Journey with Harper 1 Comment

Every child wants a place where they have ownership. A place of belonging. A place that has their distinct signature that says “ME.” It should be a place of freedom, where they can let go of their inhibitions. It should stimulate creativity and inspiration. A place where they can always feel welcomed and celebrated.

As parents, we may not be able to provide this kind of space in their classrooms, on the bus, in the locker room or even at church, but we CAN give them that space in a little corner of their world… their bedroom.

I have 2 teenagers. I recently redecorated their rooms to fit a more age appropriate palate. As they develop and evolve into the awesome young man and woman they will become, I want their décor to reflect some of the attributes I mentioned earlier; to create a place to help make their journey memorable and special for them. I was able to accomplish all of this by applying one simple rule:

CELEBRATE THEM!!! Use colors, materials, signage, posters, fabrics, bedding, rugs, pictures, initials, lights, art, trophies, medals, furniture, and ANYTHING else you can find to honor and inspire THEM!!!! THAT’S IT!!!!! I will share with you just how I did that for my daughter and my son.

Creating the perfect setting for my son was quite easy. Since he was little, we knew he loved all things logic. Including math, science, chess, robotics, technology, information, etc… The challenge was bringing this all together in a digestible and functional way, that would keep him interested, yet not distracted. This is a place where he not only does his homework, but he designs robots, plays games of chess, reads books, but also sleeps!!!

I found prints of the patents of the chess game and board right on eBay. I framed them with a rustic wood frame I got from Hobby Lobby. This served as a perfect focus point for his room above his bed. I used it as the anchor of my designs and built everything else around it.

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I think a display of their name is a staple piece to add signature to one’s room. Shoot, the average adult likes to see their name on their office door, desk etc… Kids aren’t much different. I found extra-large size wooden letters on Etsy and created a neat arrangement next to his bed.

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Above the window, I added my signature sign to reveal a message specific to him. though I “borrowed” the idea from The North Face, I find it to be super fitting for my son. 😊 I nailed the words “Never Stop Exploring” into a slab of old barn wood that I painted black, with hopes that he would be reminded of this very important message each day.

On each side of his window, I added a couple basic pieces I found in various stores. One is a simple arrow that points up, while the other is a picture of the planets in order of their arrangement. Both pictures light up. I find that most kids like the same ambient lighting we adults enjoy, just in a more age appropriate form.

Though the highlight of every room to me is the headboard or the bed itself, the owner of the room will spend a large portion of their time lying in the bed. Their focus will be on the space adjacent to the bed. So, this space is very important. Here I added a hanging solar system I found on Amazon. The planets spin in orbit similarly to the way they do in space. It is such a neat focal point and my son seems to love it. I also added a world map and a mirror and cleared an area for a spinning chair to create a place for him to read, do homework, relax, or even stargaze through the telescope that sits in front of his window. To fill the large wall across from his bed, I added a huge blackboard tapestry filled with physics and other scientific formulas. Though this language is COMPLETELY foreign to me, my son LOVES it and it gives him a little something to configure when he feels up to the challenge.

On the side wall between the door and his closet, I added a bench for extra seating and storage. I also hung a metal bin for his awards, certificates, and college letters. I love to see that he is filling this space quickly. The display of his success is a great reminder of his accomplishments. Finally, above the end table of his bed, I added a small reading lamp. Above it is a shelf for additional storage and a print of the periodic table.

Overall, I was thrilled to see this room come together. Teenagers are very complex. It can be challenging to capture all the beauty of their heart and mind. However, I took my time, and worked hand in hand with him to create depth and breadth that represented the essence of his spirit. When I see my son in his special space, it makes my heart happy that we could create a place for him to feel free and comfortable and celebrated and respected and loved. Ideally all this energy will transfer to his heart. It will follow him into the corners of his world and every place he dwells. And he will have a bit more confidence to share that beautiful heart, mind, and spirit with the rest of his world…

Whatever the age, or gender of your child, may you capitalize on their strengths and interests and showcase all the elements that celebrate them. You don’t need a huge budget, just a way to fill their room with everything that makes them sparkle and shine!!!

Check out my YouTube channel for details on this room design!